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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She creates vlogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several brand events, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that values the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see what the work we make together can achieve: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in small ways. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply everyone around her is content. She needs to honor Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?